Imagine you’re given two choices about getting something done:
Choice #1: Do it or else bad things are going to happen to you. OR
Choice #2: Do it and I’ll give you the reasons why it would be a good idea for you to do it.
Which choice appeals to you the most?
You Can’t Tell Me What To Do!
Even if both choices have some merit, most people are going to choose #2. Most people don’t like to be bullied into doing things. Maybe you’re like most people?
Why Do You Do It?
Do you eat well because you’re afraid to get fat? Or because it will improve your health and energy? Do you go to work because you’re afraid you’ll be fired if you don’t?
Or because you have a contribution to make? Do you stay with someone because you’re afraid to be alone? Or because you are happy, growing, and learning in the relationship?
Fear As Motivator
Are you being motivated by fear? You do something or you stay because you’re afraid of the consequences. It’s understandable if you make some decisions based on fear of consequences. Some consequences are best avoided. And Fear sure is a great motivator. But it’s actually not the best one.
What Do You Want?
Most people like to feel they have a choice and that they are making the decision that is right for them. And not simply because they are afraid of the consequences. And here’s the truth: You will be more successful if you make healthy choices in your life because you WANT something good for yourself than you will try to AVOID something bad happening to you.
No One Likes A Bully
Being afraid is like being bullied. By Fear. It’s very tempting to strike back at that Fear Bully by not doing the healthy thing so you can prove who’s in charge. Ever do that? Prove that you’re stronger than the fear of dying of lung cancer, so you keep smoking? That’ll show that bully who’s boss!
You Have A Choice
You don’t have to let fear be your motivator. You can examine all the good reasons why you might consider doing something, and choose. You have a choice to refuse to let fear of negative consequences be the only reason you change. Use your power wisely!
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
Please Don’t Try to Change
Don’t Try! I mean it. Don’t try to change. Not one thing. Not your bad habits, your bad behavior, or your…
How Steady Is Your Relationship?
COMFY? How Stable is Your Relationship? Take your typical 4-legged wooden stool. It’s nice and stable…if it’s got all 4…
When Should You Freak Out?
Ho, Ho, Ho? It is January 21st today and my Christmas tree is still up. A hectic holiday season that…
How To Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick!
Not everyone makes New Year’s Resolutions… there are some people who don’t see the new year as a time for…
Daily Emotional Dialysis
Filtering Difficult Experiences I’m a big fan of the emotional equivalent of “emptying the trash.” By writing in a journal…
What Your Mirror Can’t Show You.
Have you looked in a mirror lately? You were probably looking for something: spinach stuck in your teeth from lunch, a stain on…
Falling Out of Love Is Not the End
I’m Not IN LOVE Anymore I know you’ve heard this. You might have said it. “I LOVE her, but I’m…
Managing Holiday Stress and Post-Holiday Let-Down
Still, gearing up for the holidays or dealing with the aftermath of them? Either way, it can be stressful. Here…
Let’s Put the FUN Back in DysFUNctional!
The Holidays Are Coming! For many people, that means increased contact with family and extended family members… a source of…
Interdependence
In the progress of personality, first comes a declaration of independence, then a recognition of interdependence. ~Henry Van Dyke So…
Spinning Plates
So you’ve been trying to eat healthier, lose those last 10 pounds, get an exercise program going, learn how to…
How To Accomplish Anything
How Do You Make Dreams Real? You want to write a book, learn how to cook vegan, make a new…
The Art of Being Present
Marina Abramovic This week I am compelled to tell you about an amazing documentary I recently watched on HBO of…
Can You Have Too Much Downtime?
Most people I know complain about their pace of life being too fast. “Crazy-busy” fast. They are trying to find…
- Well Being (56)
- Life Hacks (18)
- The Big Picture (8)
- Health (10)
- Relationships (13)
- Holidays (7)
- Therapy (40)
- Anxiety (9)
- Depression (16)
- On The Couch (15)
- Life Planning (5)