Do you have people in your life who are, shall we say, “unsupportive” of you? How about downright discouraging? Critical? Judgmental? Dismissive? It may be time for you to do something about that… time to get very generous.
It’s Better To Give Than Receive!
It’s time to start granting permission to those unsupportive people in your life. And today is their lucky day! Because you’re going to be very generous and give permission for all sorts of things! Are you ready? Then print this out and nail it where you know it will be seen (a la Martin Luther.)
Gifts of Permission
1. I give you permission to hate me, to judge me, and to never understand me. It’s okay. You’re allowed. There’s probably not much I can do about this.
2. I give you permission to approve or disapprove of anything I have ever done or ever will do. Your approval is not necessary, but it is certainly allowed. Your disapproval is also not necessary but is also allowed.
3. I give you permission to encourage or discourage me in my endeavors to do what I have deemed is right and healthy for me. Your encouragement is welcome, but it is not required for me to continue. Your discouragement is unwelcome, but will not deter me from continuing in my endeavors.
4. I give you permission to support or to not support me. Same goes here regarding the encouragement business.
5. I accept that you have a right to your opinion. You have permission to own it, express it, and to never change it. Your opinion has nothing to do with who I am or how I will make decisions in my life.
6. I give you permission to have all of this without requiring that you extend the same to me. You have the right to decide what is right and healthy for you to do, because you have to live with that, not me.
And Be Generous With Yourself!
Don’t forget to add this to your Gift List:
1 . I give myself permission to set boundaries that allow me to be happy and healthy, to pursue my goals and dreams unencumbered by your need for me to fail or to be less than who I can be.
2. I give myself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. 3. I give myself permission to enjoy my successes and achievements and to be content with who I am.
You Have Permission
It always feels better letting people be who they are, especially once you finally realize you can’t change them. Remember that people change if they want to, not because you want them to. The great thing about life is that you don’t have to wait for other people to change for you to get going and start doing the things you were meant to do. You have permission.
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
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