Self-Esteem “Off the Grid”

Love the concept of living off the grid? A home that creates its own energy and water supply, so that there is no need to pay for and rely on outside sources would be the ideal home for many people.

In a home that’s “off the grid,” you might even be able to get the power company to pay you because your meter is actually running backwards! Since I know next to nothing about building homes “off the grid,” I’m going to apply this concept to something I do know a lot about: Self-Esteem!

Compliments as Fuel

It’s nice to get compliments. It’s nice to have approval from people we respect. It’s nice to have someone give you positive feedback. Think of this input from others as electricity. It’s like power that comes from outside that is fuel for you and helps you keep your inner lights on. If you are dependent on this from others in order to feel good about yourself, you are “on the grid.”

Don’t Forget to Pay Your Electricity Bill…

You are going to have to pay for getting this power. Maybe not in dollars, but there will be expectations that you conform or “pay back” to others for what they are providing for you.  Everything has a cost. If you are dependent on another’s approval, then your range of things you can do without them withdrawing their approval becomes more limited.

You won’t want to disappoint that person and risk this withdrawal or getting disapproval from them. That loss of range of movement is your power bill.

Going Off the Grid

Self-Esteem that is dependent upon others approving of you and your actions and choices is not true Self-Esteem. True Self-Esteem is when you can feel good about the choices you make, based on what you know is right and healthy for YOU. Regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. You can generate your own positive feedback.

You can provide your own power supply to keep those inside lights on.  You might be able to provide so much power on your own that you can give the excess away to others, providing some much-needed fuel for someone.

Run Your Power Meter in Reverse

Do what you need to do to learn how to create Self-Esteem. There are many resources on the internet, in books, and in therapists’ offices. You may have to learn a new skill set or get new tools in order to create your own Self-Esteem. You might have to build a new foundation or install some new habit patterns.

It will be worth it.  It will pay you back. Get that power meter running in reverse!

DrAnita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist

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