Face It
When I am working with clients in therapy, I often share with them this piece of universal wisdom:
The extent to which you are willing to cope with reality is the extent to which you can be mentally healthy.
It’s just a phenomenon I have observed over the past 25 years of working with people as a psychologist and as a human being over the past 50 years of living my own life.
Face It or Be Stuck
If you want to rid yourself of feelings of anxiety or depression but are not willing to face and find a way to deal with whatever the realities of your life are, you can forget it.
You are going to be stuck with anxiety and depression. Get comfortable with that. Being willing to face whatever has happened in your life or is currently happening in your life is often a daunting task. And you may need help finding ways to cope with it, deal with it, heal from it, and move on.
But in my experience, you don’t even have to be making very good headway with dealing with reality to have better mental health. You just have to be willing to face reality instead of using denial or escapism in all of their unhealthy forms.
Reality Is A Brick Wall
Reality really is that brick wall that you can choose to bash yourself into over and over again because you just can’t believe it’s there or you just don’t want to believe that it’s there. But, it’s there.
The moment that you can admit to yourself that it is there and begin to make some decisions about what you want to do about that wall, you’re set free from all the self-destructive coping skills you had to practice in order to deny or curse its existence.
Face It
Face it.
Face the wall.
Touch it.
Explore the bricks.
Explore the mortar.
Read the graffiti.
Paint some graffiti.
Just don’t keep walking into it over and over again, telling me and yourself and everyone else that it isn’t there. That it shouldn’t be there, so it isn’t really there. That you’ve really got this, as you plow into it one more time, coming away bloody and bruised. Again.
The extent to which you are willing to cope with reality is the extent to which you can be mentally healthy.
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
Dealing with Bipolar Disorder?
If you’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, then I don’t have to tell you that you are dealing with one…
Decide on the Daily
Everyone is looking for a good “life hack,” something that makes life easier and better. Here is one that definitely…
Stop Kicking the Turtle! Or How to Let Yourself Grieve
If you’ve ever suffered an important loss in your life…whether it was the loss of a loved one, a beloved…
Let’s Put the FUN Back in DysFUNctional!
The Holidays Are Coming! For many people, that means increased contact with family and extended family members… a source of…
Why Is Forgiving So Hard?
You Are Wired to NOT Forget What Hurt You You know you need to do it, you know it would…
I’m Tired of Being a Survivor
Have you survived something very difficult in your life? A tough childhood? A major trauma? An abusive marriage? It takes…
How Steady Is Your Relationship?
COMFY? How Stable is Your Relationship? Take your typical 4-legged wooden stool. It’s nice and stable…if it’s got all 4…
Who left your Mood in Charge?
Does This Sound Like You? You set goals for yourself, but if you don’t “feel like it,” you do nothing about…
Another Way to Manage Your Anxiety
The most commonly suggested way to manage anxiety is to calm the nervous system by using diaphragmatic breathing. By breathing…
How Do You Get Someone To Go To Therapy?
For the sake of this post, let’s assume you have a friend you’re concerned about. There’s 3-Step process you can…
Your Rights and Responsibilities When You’re Sick
Being Sick Sucks The greatest wealth is health. ~Virgil Whether it’s a bad chest cold, or a serious diagnosis of a cancer tumor,…
This Stress Is Killing Me!
An interesting study just released this week showed that all other factors being equal, people who believed that stress was having an…
Which Comes First: Depression or Fatigue?
Why are people suffering from depression almost always also very tired? The relationship of depression to fatigue is very complicated,…
Getting a Jump on Seasonal Depression
If you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, then that first cool hint of air untinged by the humidity of summer doesn’t…
- Well Being (59)
- Life Hacks (20)
- The Big Picture (9)
- Health (10)
- Relationships (13)
- Holidays (7)
- Therapy (43)
- Anxiety (11)
- Depression (16)
- On The Couch (16)
- Life Planning (5)
Related Posts
What If I Don’t Have a Higher Power?
Do You Know How to Enjoy A Harvest?
