![](https://anitasanz.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/AdobeStock_188028723-1024x576.jpeg)
You know you need to let go of your need to be in complete control of everything and everyone in your life. Or maybe you don’t yet. Either way, something is going to happen to you that is going to challenge you and make you see that you don’t, as a matter of fact, have control over everything and everyone in your life.
Controlling is a Survival Skill
Controlling things, and overcontrolling things, is a survival coping skill you may have learned to deal with a situation that was chaotic, unpredictable, and where you probably didn’t have much power. And it’s an awesome coping skill when the matter before you requires “doing something” to make things better. It’s the “hammer” coping skill…do it, fix it, manage it.
Letting Go is a Thriving Skill
But as a thriving skill…a skill that empowers you to live a happy, healthy life… controlling and over-controlling just aren’t effective. Kind of like using a hammer when you really need a screwdriver..you are going to make a real mess of the job.
Facing Reality
The truth is that control and overcontrol are skills that aren’t reality-based for many of the stressful situations in life. The reality is that you have very little control over most things in your life… not anything that happened in the past or will happen in the future, or any other people on this planet. Learning to let go of things you have no control over is a very empowering thriving skill.
Finding Courage
One of my favorite movies is Finding Nemo. There was a worrying, well-intentioned, but over-controlling character in that movie who had to learn to let go the hard way… when there was literally no other choice. Remember Marlin, Nemo’s Dad? Stuck inside the whale with Dory, scared out of his wits, convinced she was looney, completely terrified he was going to die and believing in his heart that the situation was hopeless.
Marlin took the ultimate risk and let go. Remember that you can do this, too. And you’ll be okay. Really.
I can speak whale. 🙂
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
Mothers are People, Too…
Happy Mother’s Day! “If it’s not one thing, it’s your Mother!” There’s a saying in psychotherapy that goes “If it’s…
How To Make Better Decisions
“We are our choices.” ~Jean Paul Sartre Do you have trouble making decisions? Is it hard for you to choose…
Take Another Look At Cognitive Therapy
What do you see when you look at this image? Do you see a carved goblet? Or do you see…
It’s Snark Week!
You know them… snarky people. The masters of that combination of sarcastic and cynical that ends up being smugly critical and…
The Art of Being Present
Marina Abramovic This week I am compelled to tell you about an amazing documentary I recently watched on HBO of…
How To Help Your Doctor Help You
You and I both know you are not a human Bento box. Trying to “unpack” your health experience by neat…
Can You Have Too Much Downtime?
Most people I know complain about their pace of life being too fast. “Crazy-busy” fast. They are trying to find…
No One Likes A Bully!
Imagine you’re given two choices about getting something done: Choice #1: Do it or else bad things are going to…
Face It
When I am working with clients in therapy, I often share with them this piece of universal wisdom: The extent…
The Vow You Really Need
THE SECRET TO A LONG HAPPY RELATIONSHIP I’m going to share with you one of the greatest secrets to a…
Don’t Hit the SNOOZE Button!
The Submarine Expert My husband tells this awesome story: Something’s gone wrong on a nuclear submarine and they call in…
You Have Permission
Got Critics? Do you have people in your life who are, shall we say, “unsupportive” of you? How about downright…
How to Get Things Done When You’re Just Not Feeling It (#NoMotivation)
I’m Just Not Feeling It So, I asked, “You have to wait until you’re able to “get into” doing a…
Mental Health Hygiene
Cut Your Therapy Bill In Half! Psychotherapists can do so much to improve mental health. They can provide information, teach…
- Well Being (56)
- Life Hacks (18)
- The Big Picture (8)
- Health (10)
- Relationships (13)
- Holidays (7)
- Therapy (40)
- Anxiety (9)
- Depression (16)
- On The Couch (15)
- Life Planning (5)