
You know them… snarky people.
The masters of that combination of sarcastic and cynical that ends up being smugly critical and absolutely unbearable to human beings after a while. If the snarks are your friends or co-workers, you can handle it because they will eventually go away.
Or you will go away.
But what if you live with a snark?
Living With A Snark
What if every time you screw something up, you can count on your partner to make a snarky remark like “Well, aren’t you the genius?” That should actually be called a re-snark, don’t you think? Or if you ask your partner if they got the mail yet, they say “No, I was waiting for it to be delivered by drone. Of course, I got the mail.”
A Snark In Sheep’s Clothing

Being snarky and sarcastic, although possibly a sign of creativity and verbal intelligence, is also a sign of something else: aggression disguised as humor at your expense.
It is a way of communicating something to you indirectly, and in such a way that there is no way for you to respond without looking even more foolish. It is cowardly bullying if you will. But, there’s actually a way to deal with snarks that is both effective and kind of fun, so let’s go snark hunting!
Snark Hunting!
The best way to handle a snark is to “play dumb.” Of course, the snark will say “that’s not going to be that hard for you, now is it?” (Don’t you just hate snarks?) Another way to say that you’re going to play dumb is that you are going to force the snark to own up to what they are doing and communicate directly, instead of using indirect, sarcastic, snarky communication. You’re going to force the snark to shed his sarcastic wool and come out of hiding!
Examples, Please!
Snark: “Well, aren’t you the genius?!” You: “Are you saying that I am a genuis?” Snark: “Ummm…I thought it was obvious I wasn’t calling you a genius.” You: “Why would you call me a genius if you don’t think I am a genius?” Force the snark to say it: “I was calling you a genius to be mean. Because I didn’t think you were being very smart.” You: “Why would you do that?”
The Power of “Why?”
The most powerful question you can ask of a snark is “Why?” Mainly because the snark doesn’t ever think to ask why they are snarky. Or if it’s okay to be snarky to you.
But it’s high time he started.
Don’t Forget:
Now that you know how to handle snarks, you can have some fun with the mean, sarcastic, attempts to belittle remarks that come your way. Refuse to read between the lines and remember to ask the all-important “Why?” question and you’ll make the ocean a lot safer to swim in. Or your apartment or home to live in. Or your workplace to work in.
Snark-free Zones: Come on in. The conversation’s fine!
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
How to Kill Your Relationship in 10 Easy Steps
I’ve been seeing a lot of couples lately who are in the death throes of the process leading ultimately to…
What Would You Attempt to Do if You KNEW You Could Not Fail?
What would YOU attempt to do if you KNEW you could not fail? Would you start your own business? Would…
The Bobsled Principle
IT’S NOT MY PROBLEM… My favorite image of a team is the 2-person bobsled. (Known fact: I LOVE THE OLYMPICS!!!!)…
What Can Kwanzaa Teach Me?
In the spirit of the holidays at this time of year, I decided it was time to learn more about…
My Favorite Life Planner Hacks
I have been using a Life Planner for decades, switching between different types to see which one worked best for…
This Stress Is Killing Me!
An interesting study just released this week showed that all other factors being equal, people who believed that stress was having an…
Control Burn, Baby!
A Controlled Burn I live in Florida and lately, we’ve been in a drought. In order to decrease the likelihood…
I Didn’t Put RELAX on my To Do List!
Maybe this isn’t your problem. Maybe your problem is you’re relaxing TOO much and the dishes have been sitting in…
Should Psychotherapy Sessions Hurt?
“No pain, no gain!” Is psychotherapy supposed to hurt? Is it necessary to wear waterproof mascara to every session? Are…
Happily Married…With Children?!
Married With Children. I’ve counseled many couples through the transition from being single to becoming a married couple, and then…
How To Cope with Things Outside of Your Control
Imagine the following scenario: You are in a large, beautiful interior space with everything you need to accomplish any task…
An Easier Path to Meal Planning
Are you spending too much going out to eat? Trying to eat healthier, but getting either bored or overwhelmed with…
What Are You Waiting For?
Do you think that you’ll be happy when you finally lose those 15-20+ pounds? Do you think that when you…
I Just Can’t Get Over It
Being able to heal past wounds and move on to live a happy, healthy life is a goal of many…
- Well Being (56)
- Life Hacks (18)
- The Big Picture (8)
- Health (10)
- Relationships (13)
- Holidays (7)
- Therapy (40)
- Anxiety (9)
- Depression (16)
- On The Couch (15)
- Life Planning (5)