Dump It On the Table!
I’ve Got Some Emotional Baggage Here…
“I’m sorry I’m dumping all of my problems on you.” How many times have I heard this from a client? It seems like it is a version of the statement, “I don’t know how you can sit and listen to people’s problems all day long….”
Both, I think, are really a person’s way of checking to see if it’s okay with me that they are talking about problems, that they are angry, stressed, or crying.
Cancel the Dumptruck…
It’s important that people going to therapy understand that they are not “dumping” their problems on their therapists. If they were, then that would be a problem. Therapists would not be able to handle a cumulative load of problems dumped on them, hour after hour. But that’s not what happens.
Get Out the Drawing Board!
Therapy sessions are not the emotional equivalent of driving a dump truck full of your “issues’ up to your therapist’s front yard and unloading, then driving away. Therapy sessions are team efforts where two (or more) people get out a drawing board to figure out what are the problems to work on, the game plan to approach the problem, and assign who is going to do what and when.
Dump Them On the Table
Clients don’t dump their problems on their therapists. They dump them on the table. We work on them together, as a team. I bring what I know to the table. You bring what you know to the table. It’s a team effort and there will be no progress made if only one part of the team is doing their work.
Then Pick Them Back Up
Clients take their problems back at the end of the session and commit to work on them alone, too. I might work on a part of them alone sometimes, meaning that I will do research or reading, or think about how to best tackle a particular problem, then bring my insights back to the therapy session.
But the important point is that clients, not their therapists, take their problems home with them.
Are You Doing Your Part?
Are you willing to be an active member of your treatment team and partner with your therapist to develop a personalized treatment plan? Do you make your therapy appointments a priority, honor your commitments, and get there on time?
Are you willing to learn, read, keep on open mind, experiment, do any requested homework suggested …if it makes sense to you why it may be helpful?
If so, then you’re definitely not “dumping” your problems on anybody. You’re asking a professional to work with you to help you achieve your goals.
And that’s something any therapist would be up for! 🙂
Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist
Self-Esteem Is YOUR Job
Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem Not sure if you’re all that sexy and attractive? Do you constantly need approval from others?…
Who’s Afraid of the Dentist?
Odontophobia or Dentophobia You know if you have it…a fear of going to the dentist. It’s the smell of the…
When You’re Feeling Stuck: First, Don’t Panic…
Do you feel stuck? Nothing’s moving? Can’t get going? Like when you’ve gotten your car or truck stuck in soft…
Coping with Morning Depression
For those who suffer from depression, mornings are often the worst time. Once the day gets started, a person’s mood…
How to Get Things Done When You’re Just Not Feeling It (#NoMotivation)
I’m Just Not Feeling It So, I asked, “You have to wait until you’re able to “get into” doing a…
You Have Reached Your Destination
Many of you will be able to actually hear the GPS system’s voice in your head when you read the…
What Psychotherapy CAN’T Do For You
Interdependence
In the progress of personality, first comes a declaration of independence, then a recognition of interdependence. ~Henry Van Dyke So…
Yes, You DO Need A Vacation!
Vacation Poor America Of all developed countries in the world, Americans are the worst at taking time off from work. Compared…
How to Catch More Zzzzz’s
Elusive Sleep Insomnia for many people has become a frustrating fact of life. 30% of the population suffers from it,…
Which Comes First: Depression or Fatigue?
Why are people suffering from depression almost always also very tired? The relationship of depression to fatigue is very complicated,…
Someone I Love Is Being Deployed: How Do I Cope?
This blog post is in honor of all Veterans this Veteran’s Day. My heart goes out to each and every…
Poke At Your Depression
What Does Depression Have to Do With Bread? When you’re making bread the old-fashioned way, using yeast, kneading dough, then…
Should Psychotherapy Sessions Hurt?
“No pain, no gain!” Is psychotherapy supposed to hurt? Is it necessary to wear waterproof mascara to every session? Are…
- Well Being (59)
- Life Hacks (20)
- The Big Picture (9)
- Health (10)
- Relationships (13)
- Holidays (7)
- Therapy (43)
- Anxiety (11)
- Depression (16)
- On The Couch (16)
- Life Planning (5)
Related Posts
Someone I Love Is Being Deployed: How Do I Cope?
Another Way to Manage Your Anxiety
