I became a therapist thinking that people just naturally wanted to change, grow, get better, become healthier… and how cool was that going to be to assist in that process?!

Boy, was I naive. After 20 years as a therapist, what I discovered is that it is extremely rare for anyone to make real change unless they absolutely have to.

That’s just Humans 101.

When Does Change Happen?

Your back is up against a wall. Avoidance and denial aren’t working anymore and reality is biting you in the proverbial rear end. Your symptoms are killing you. Or you’ve hit rock bottom. Hard. You’ve finally gotten a wake-up call so loud it’s already burst the eardrums of everyone within a 50-mile radius. Then it dawns on you. Hey, maybe I should do something about this

When Should Change Happen?

Is that the best time to try to work on changing something? When there are no other options left? Actually, (I hate to say it!) it really can be.

What’s My Motivation?

There’s no motivation like this: Learn how to communicate or your wife is going to leave you. (Or she’s already gone and you’re trying to get her back.) Figure out how to resolve conflict better with your boss or you’re going to get fired. Get sober or lose any chance of having a normal life. Oh, and good luck getting your driver’s license back.

Changing Before You Have To

Sometimes knowing that it would be good for you to change just isn’t enough. I still really wish it were. But sometimes you have to know there aren’t any other options left. If you’re smart enough to see that your behavior is getting you to that place where you will eventually hit rock bottom and you decide to do something about it, that’s great. No, it’s more than great. It’s amazing! Because it’s really, really rare.

Deciding to change before you have to gets you a gold star before you even begin.

DrAnita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist

Self-Esteem Is YOUR Job

Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem Not sure if you’re all that sexy and attractive? Do you constantly need approval from others? Are you never sure that…

Read More

Another Way to Manage Your Anxiety

The most commonly suggested way to manage anxiety is to calm the nervous system by using diaphragmatic breathing. By breathing deeply, you are physically behaving…

Read More

How to Deal With Change

It is not necessary to change.  Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming This is a time of year when people often are readying themselves…

Read More

You Have Permission

Got Critics? Do you have people in your life who are, shall we say, “unsupportive” of you? How about downright discouraging? Critical? Judgmental? Dismissive? It…

Read More

Control Burn, Baby!

A Controlled Burn I live in Florida and lately, we’ve been in a drought. In order to decrease the likelihood of serious forest and brush…

Read More

Graduation Dance

Graduating from a school, college, or program is supposed to be one of those “happy” events we celebrate, falling in the same category of major…

Read More