Stop freaking out!

Finding the balance is what we are all trying to do… whether we are talking about the balance between work and play, taking care of others and taking care of ourselves, or between caring too little or caring too much.

Finding the Sweet Spot

Athletes and anyone else who has to “perform” are always looking for that sweet spot where they care enough about how they are doing to want to do their best… but not so much that they are freaking out about their performance. Because as any performer knows, caring too much about the performance will doom it. So how do you find the sweet spot?

• How do you care, but not too much?
• How do you care just enough to get the best performance out of yourself?
• But not so much that you find yourself freaking out?!

Rule #1:  Being Anxious Means You Care

Understand that the fact that you are anxious or nervous about how well you are going to do (on a test, in an interview, or on a date) is only because you care. And caring is a good thing! Too much of a good thing is what turns a good thing into a bad thing. (I’m oversimplifying here, but you get the point.)

Rule #2:  You’re Only Responsible For What You Can Control

If you’re about to deliver what you hope is going to be a rocking performance, you have to put 100% into whatever aspects of the situation you have control over… and 0% into the aspects that you don’t. You can’t control the outcome (the score, the grade, whether s/he will want a second date with you). What you CAN control is the process:  giving it your all, and doing the best you can given the circumstances.

Rule #3:  Care, Don’t Freak

You want to go all the way up to the top of “the mountain of caring”, without taking even one more step past the summit… or you’ll fall off and into the “chasm of freaking out and blowing your performance.” To sum up, care, but don’t freak. Otherwise, we’re going to have to send out a search and rescue team for you!  🙂

Dr. Anita Sanz, PhD, Psychologist

How to Kill Your Relationship in 10 Easy Steps

I’ve been seeing a lot of couples lately who are in the death throes of the process leading ultimately to divorce. There is no doubt…

Read More

Someone I Love Is Being Deployed: How Do I Cope?

This blog post is in honor of all Veterans this Veteran’s Day. My heart goes out to each and every somebody out there who has…

Read More

What’s Your “Baby?”

Babies…cute, cuddly, sweet, adorable.  Right? Well, yes… and no. Now I know some people love taking care of babies and I have incredible respect for…

Read More

Giving The Love That Heals

Happy Birth Day! Our daughter turned 12 this week, and I’ve been reflecting on what I have learned about parenting since the day she came…

Read More

How Do You Get Someone To Go To Therapy?

For the sake of this post, let’s assume you have a friend you’re concerned about. There’s 3-Step process you can adapt to meet the needs…

Read More

How to Get Things Done When You’re Just Not Feeling It (#NoMotivation)

I’m Just Not Feeling It So, I asked, “You have to wait until you’re able to “get into” doing a chore before you can do…

Read More