{"id":2449,"date":"2023-05-01T15:18:47","date_gmt":"2023-05-01T15:18:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/?p=2449"},"modified":"2024-09-02T23:48:03","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T23:48:03","slug":"when-youre-feeling-stuck-first-dont-panic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/wp-dev\/when-youre-feeling-stuck-first-dont-panic\/","title":{"rendered":"When You\u2019re Feeling Stuck: First, Don\u2019t Panic\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Do you feel stuck?  Nothing\u2019s moving?  Can\u2019t get going?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like when you\u2019ve gotten your car or truck stuck in soft sand. And the harder you try to get out, the deeper you dig yourself in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter where you are on your journey through life, there are going to be times when you feel like your luck has run out. Maybe the plans you made fell through. Maybe suddenly your health deserted you.  Maybe you\u2019re just looking at your life and you\u2019re not where you thought you\u2019d be by now. You feel like you\u2019re trapped in a drive-through lane that never moves forward. What\u2019s going on?   Why isn\u2019t anything moving?   Whose fault is this anyway?!!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might even know what it is that you want<\/strong> to do, or need <\/strong>to do, but you can\u2019t get motivated to do anything about it.   You just can\u2019t take that first step to get going, no matter what. And if, heaven forbid, you don\u2019t even know what<\/strong> you want to do\u2026then you\u2019re really stuck. You sit, watching anything you can find on TV, while your mind just stays a blank screen.  Yep, you\u2019re stuck all right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah, But What If\u2026..<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Confusion, procrastination, loss of motivation, frustration\u2026not the most enjoyable of experiences, but what if they are all necessary parts of the process of figuring out what\u2019s next in your life journey?  I\u2019m just asking \u201cWhat If?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if you have to let yourself be confused for a while?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if you have to avoid doing some tasks for a while?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if you have to be unmotivated for a while?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if you\u2019re supposed to feel frustrated for a while?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m just asking \u201cWhat if\u2026\u201d because maybe the state you find yourself in is an important one to experience. I\u2019m not saying you\u2019re supposed to spend the entire rest of your life confused, procrastinating, frustrated, and unmotivated.  But, what if you have paused for a moment to reassess something? Are you stuck or are you resting, gathering your strength for the next challenge? Are you confused or are you just stopping to make sure your compass is still working? Are you frustrated, or just registering your disappointment with the way things have been turning out, trying to figure out a solution?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hmmmmmmm\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being Stuck Feels Scary<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Getting to a place of \u201cstuckness\u201d in your life not only makes you feel uncomfortable, it can be really scary. When nothing is working the way it always has, then there can come the fearful thought that nothing is ever going to work right again. If you\u2019ve always been able to set a goal, make a plan, and move forward and now you can\u2019t do these things, then you start to feel hopeless about things getting better\u2026because how are they going to get better if you can\u2019t do anything?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And people who are really good at coping in the middle of a crisis (like the person who can jump right in and direct people to call 911, boil water, and get clean towels) tend to really suck at just sitting and trying to get their bearings when they are stuck. They don\u2019t \u201cget\u201d being stuck.  They know how to move!   They know how to take action!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if they hit upon a situation where there isn\u2019t an obvious action to take, or there isn\u2019t any energy or motivation to be able to take it\u2026\u2026uh, oh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now what?   Panic!    Create a crisis\u2026and then maybe they\u2019ll know what to do!!!    \u201cCuz they\u2019re really good in a crisis!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a better idea\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, Don\u2018t Panic!<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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In the process of transition, of which feeling stuck <\/strong>is just a part, it can be incredibly helpful to remember that just letting yourself become okay with the newness and unfamiliarity is the most important thing you can do. You can \u201cbecome okay\u201d with the situation partly by telling yourself there\u2019s nothing wrong with what\u2019s happening. It takes courage to find yourself in the midst of something you\u2019ve not had to deal with before, or in the middle of somewhere you can\u2019t seem to find your way out of, and to \u201cfirst, don\u2019t panic!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just remaining calm so you can look at your confusing situation is the first step. You don\u2019t have to DO anything about it yet. Just sit with it for a while. Pretend you\u2019re holding a really tangled Rubik\u2019s Cube and you\u2019re just going to study on it for a while before you decide your first move. That at least gives you a chance to get your bearings, let you feel your feelings about being in the situation, and figure out if you want to make a move, what it should be\u2026 and when.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while you\u2019re practicing being all calm about this confusion, why not throw in having a little faith in yourself that since you\u2019ve gotten this far, maybe you\u2019ll actually be able to figure out in time what to do next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m just asking, \u201cWhy not?\u201d  \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Dr<\/em>.\u00a0Anita Sanz<\/em>, PhD, Psychologist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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