{"id":1881,"date":"2023-04-17T16:13:09","date_gmt":"2023-04-17T16:13:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/?p=1881"},"modified":"2024-09-02T22:38:02","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T22:38:02","slug":"falling-out-of-love-is-not-the-end","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/wp-dev\/falling-out-of-love-is-not-the-end\/","title":{"rendered":"Falling Out of Love Is Not the End"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I\u2019m Not IN LOVE Anymore<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

I know you\u2019ve heard this. You might have said it. \u201cI LOVE her, but I\u2019m not IN LOVE with her anymore.\u201d The kiss of death to most relationships, right? Not if you understand how relationships work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Wedding Is Not the Marriage<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

First things first: There\u2019s a big difference between the wedding and the marriage. A wedding is a party, a celebration for a day. A marriage is years of getting up each day and making the hard decision to treat each other right, no matter the circumstances. A relationship is not a party. Yeah, sorry. But it doesn\u2019t have to be a death march, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Falling In Love Is Easy<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Second things second: There\u2019s a big difference between how easy it is to fall in love and how hard it is to navigate life\u2019s challenges while maintaining respect, communication, romance, and a sense of humor with your partner for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Anyone can fall in love. Not everyone can love.<\/strong><\/em><\/h5>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Once you\u2019re not IN LOVE anymore, that\u2019s probably when you\u2019re ready for REAL love\u2026 and not before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disillusionment Is A Prerequisite<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Once the illusion that everything is perfect has been stripped away, you\u2019re ready to work at perfecting the underlying relationship. That is, if there is a relationship underlying. Once your partner is actually making it hard for you to love them (how could they?!), you\u2019ll be faced with how you\u2019re going to respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Real Love Is Worth It<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Will you be honest with them about what is working and what isn\u2019t? Will you end the relationship, because this isn\u2019t what you signed up for? Will you hang in there and discover that you can become closer to your partner through the hard times, if you\u2019re talking, maintaining your friendship, and making love a verb? That\u2019s what you\u2019re going to have do to for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s real love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Dr<\/em>. Anita Sanz<\/em>, PhD, Psychologist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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