{"id":1052,"date":"2023-04-08T11:01:50","date_gmt":"2023-04-08T11:01:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/?p=1052"},"modified":"2024-09-02T22:46:20","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T22:46:20","slug":"why-people-dont-change-until-they-have-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anitasanz.com\/wp-dev\/why-people-dont-change-until-they-have-to\/","title":{"rendered":"Why People Don\u2019t Change Until They Have To"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I became a therapist thinking that people just naturally wanted to change, grow, get better, become healthier\u2026 and how cool was that going to be to assist in that process?!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Boy, was I naive. After 20 years as a therapist, what I discovered is that it is extremely rare for anyone to make real change unless they absolutely have to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s just Humans 101.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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When Does Change Happen?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your back is up against a wall. Avoidance and denial aren\u2019t working anymore and reality is biting you in the proverbial rear end. Your symptoms are killing you. Or you\u2019ve hit rock bottom. Hard. You\u2019ve finally gotten a wake-up call so loud it\u2019s already burst the eardrums of everyone within a 50-mile radius. Then it dawns on you. Hey, maybe I should do something about this<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Should Change Happen?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Is that the best time to try to work on changing something? When there are no other options left? Actually, (I hate to say it!) it really can be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What\u2019s My Motivation?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s no motivation like this: Learn how to communicate or your wife is going to leave you. (Or she\u2019s already gone and you\u2019re trying to get her back.) Figure out how to resolve conflict better with your boss or you\u2019re going to get fired. Get sober or lose any chance of having a normal life. Oh, and good luck getting your driver\u2019s license back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Changing Before You Have To<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes knowing that it would be good for you to change just isn\u2019t enough. I still really wish it were. But sometimes you have to know there aren\u2019t any other options left. If you\u2019re smart enough to see that your behavior is getting you to that place where you will eventually hit rock bottom and you decide to do something about it, that\u2019s great. No, it\u2019s more than great. It\u2019s amazing! Because it\u2019s really, really rare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deciding to change before you have to gets you a gold star before you even begin.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Dr<\/em>. Anita Sanz<\/em>, PhD, Psychologist<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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